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Archive for November, 2013

10 Relationship Tips mostly Forgoten

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Healthy relationships are accomplishments.  They take commitment and work, and two people who are willing to meet in the middle and put in the necessary effort.

If you’re in a relationship, intimate or platonic, that could use a little help, the tips below will come in handy…

1.  Let go of old wounds through forgiveness.

Every moment of your life you are either growing or dying – and when you are physically healthy, it’s a choice, not fate.  The art of maintaining happiness in your life and relationships relies on the fine balancing act of holding on and letting go.  Yes, sometimes people you trust (including yourself) will hurt you.  Being hurt is something you can’t avoid, but being continuously miserable is always a choice.  Forgiveness is the remedy.  You have to let go of what’s behind you before you can grasp the goodness in front of you.

2.  Come clean when you make a mistake.

An honest heart is the beginning of everything that is right with this world.  The most honorable people of all are not those who never make mistakes, but those who admit to them when they do, and then go on and do their best to right the wrongs they’ve made.  In the end, being honest might not always win you a lot of friends and lovers, but it will always keep the right ones in your life.

3.  Stop gossiping and start communicating.

A good rule of thumb:  If you can’t say it to their face, you shouldn’t say it behind their back.  As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, and small minds discuss people.”  Life is much too short to waste talking about people, gossiping, and stirring up trouble that has no substance.  If you don’t know, ask. If you don’t agree, say so.  If you don’t like it, speak up.  But never judge people behind their back.

4.  Give others the space to make their own decisions.

Stop judging others by your own past.  Never act, judge, or treat people like you know them better than they know themselves.  They are living a different life than you are.  What might be good for one person may not be good for another.  What might be bad for one person might change another person’s life for the better.  Allow the people in your life to make their own mistakes and their own decisions.

5.  Do things that make YOU happy.

If you want to awaken happiness in a relationship, start by living a life that makes you happy and then radiate your happiness into your relationship.  If you want to eliminate suffering in a relationship, start by eliminating the dark and negative parts of yourself, and then radiate your positivity into your relationship.  Truly, the greatest power you have in this world is the power of your own self-transformation.  All the positive change you seek in any relationship starts with the one in the mirror.

6.  Show your loved ones your kindness in small ways every day.

Aesop once said, “No act of kindness, however small, is ever wasted.”  Nothing could be closer to the truth.  Always be kinder than necessary.  You never know what someone is going through.  Sometimes you have to be kind to someone, not because they’re being nice, but because you are.  Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.

7.  Say less when less means more.

It takes some courage to stand up and speak; it takes even more courage to open your mind and listen.  Pay attention and be a good listener. Your ears will never get you in trouble.  The people in your life often need a listening ear more than they need a rambling voice.  And don’t listen with the intent to reply; hear what is being said with the intent to understand.  You are as beautiful as the love you give, and you are as wise as the silence you leave behind.

8.  Let your love and trust overpower your fear.

You never lose by loving; you lose by holding back.  No relationship is impossible until you refuse to give it a chance.  Love means giving someone the chance to hurt you, but trusting them not to.  Without this trust, a relationship cannot survive.  You cannot just believe what you fear from others; you have to believe in the good faith of others.  If you are ever going to have someone trust you, you must feel that you can trust them too.

9.  Accept, don’t expect.

Unconditional acceptance is something we want, but rarely ever give out.  Remember, people never do anything that is out of character.  They may do things that go against your expectations, but what people do reveals exactly who they are.  Never force your expectations on people, other than the expectation that they will be exactly who they are.  Who they are is not what they say or what you have come to expect, it is who they reveal themselves to be.  Either you accept them as they are, or you move on without them.

10.  Let the wrong ones go.

Know your worth!  When you give your time to someone who doesn’t respect you, you surrender pieces of your heart you will never get back.  All failed relationships hurt, but losing someone who doesn’t appreciate and respect you is actually a gain, not a loss.  Some people come into your life temporarily simply to teach you something.  They come and they go and they make a difference.  It’s perfectly okay that they’re not in your life anymore.  You now have more time to focus on the relationships that truly matter.

Afterthoughts

Remember, even the healthiest relationships have small flaws.  Being too black and white about the quality and health of a relationship spells trouble.  Accept the fact that there will always be difficulties present, but you can still focus on the good.  Instead of constantly looking for signs of what’s not working in your relationship, what you need to do is look for signs of what is, and then use this as a solid foundation to build upon.

Your turn…

Which of these relationship tips do you sometimes struggle with?  What else would you add to the list?  Please leave us a comment below and share your thoughts.

Quotes to Help You Let Go and Live

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Letting go doesn’t mean you don’t care about someone or something anymore; it’s just realizing that the only thing you truly have control over is yourself, right here, right now.  It’s a necessary process of adapting to the ever-changing realities of life – leaving behind the past to make way for the present.

Here are 50 quotes gathered from recent entries in our blog archive that will help you let go and live well…

 

  1. As we grow older and wiser, we begin to realize what we need and what we need to leave behind.  Sometimes walking away is a step forward.
  2. You will never achieve what you are capable of if you’re too attached to things you’re supposed to let go of.
  3. Sometimes there are things in our lives that aren’t meant to stay.  Sometimes the changes we don’t want are the changes we need to grow.
  4. Growth and change may be painful sometimes, but nothing in life is as painful as staying stuck where you don’t belong.
  5. The hardest part about growing is letting go of what you were used to, and moving on with something you’re not.
  6. Accept what is, let go of what was and have faith in what could be.
  7. Don’t be afraid of change.  Change happens for a reason.  Roll with it.  It won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.
  8. It’s usually quite hard to let go and move on, but once you do, you’ll feel free and realize it was the best decision you’ve ever made.
  9. Never let your fear decide your future.
  10. Fear doesn’t exist anywhere except in your mind.  It’s difficult to follow your heart, but it’s a tragedy to let the lies of fear stop you.  
  11. You can’t always wait for the perfect moment.  Sometimes you must let go and dare to do it because life is too short to wonder what could have been.
  12. You’re not the same person you were a year ago, a month ago, or a week ago.  You’re always growing.  Experiences don’t stop.  That’s life.
  13. One of the most rewarding moments in life is when you finally find the courage to let go of what you can’t change.
  14. Never force anything.  Give it your best shot, and then let it be.  If it’s meant to be, it will be.  Don’t hold yourself down with things you can’t control.
  15. When you stop expecting people and situations to be perfect, you can start to appreciate them for who and what they are.
  16. Live simply.  Love generously.  Speak truthfully.  Breathe deeply.  Do your best.  Leave everything else to the powers above you.
  17. Giving up and moving on are two very different things.
  18. Moving on doesn’t mean forgetting, it means you choose happiness over hurt.
  19. Giving up doesn’t always mean you’re weak; sometimes it simply means you are strong enough and smart enough to let go and grow.
  20. Stop focusing on how stressed you are and remember how blessed you are.  It could be so much worse.
  21. Whatever is bringing you down, let it GO!  You don’t need that negativity in your life.  Keep calm and be positive.  Good things will happen.
  22. Some people cannot stand that you’re moving on with your life and so they will try to drag your past to catch up with you.  Do not help them by acknowledging their behavior.  Keep moving forward.
  23. No matter how you live, someone will be disappointed.  So just live your truth and be sure YOU aren’t the one who is disappointed in the end.
  24. Love yourself!  Forgive yourself!  Accept yourself!  You are YOU and that’s the beginning and the end – no apologies, no regrets.
  25. You are GOOD enough, SMART enough, FINE enough, and STRONG enough.  You don’t need other people to validate you; you’re already valuable.
  26. One of the most freeing things we learn in life is that we don’t have to like everyone, everyone doesn’t have to like us, and it’s perfectly OK.
  27. Try not to take things other people say about you too personally.  What they think and say is a reflection of them, not you.
  28. If you care too much about what other people think, in a way, you will always be their prisoner.
  29. Sometimes we expect more from others because we’d be willing to do that much for them.  Keep loving.  You’ll learn who’s worth it in the end.
  30. Not everyone will appreciate what you do for them.  You have to figure out who’s worth your attention and who’s just taking advantage of you.
  31. Saying yes to happiness means learning to say no to the people and things that hurt you.  Be wise enough to walk away from the negativity.
  32. What you allow is what will continue.  It’s better to be lonely than allow negative people and their opinions derail you from your destiny.
  33. If you feel like your ship is sinking, it might be a good time to throw out the stuff that’s been weighing it down.  Let go of people who bring you down, and surround yourself with those who bring out the best in you.
  34. Just because someone has been in your life for many years, doesn’t mean there shouldn’t be a point at which you finally decide to let go.
  35. One of the most difficult tasks in life is removing someone from your heart.
  36. You have to understand that people come and people go.  That’s life.  Stop holding on to those who have let go of you long ago.
  37. Sometimes we don’t forgive people because they deserve it.  We forgive them because they need it, because we need it, and because we cannot let go and move forward without it.
  38. The first to apologize is the bravest.  The first to forgive is the strongest.  The first to move forward is the happiest.
  39. Don’t cry over the past, it’s gone.  Don’t stress about the future, it hasn’t arrived.  Do your best to live in the NOW and make it beautiful.  
  40. Be wise enough to let go when you should and strong enough to hold on when you must.
  41. Don’t let dumb little things break your happiness.  True wealth is the ability to experience and appreciate each moment for what it’s worth.
  42. Life is too short to spend at war with yourself.  Practice acceptance and forgiveness.  Letting go of yesterday’s troubles is your first step towards happiness today.
  43. Worry gives small things a big shadow.  In the end, you can either focus on what’s tearing you apart, or what’s holding you together.
  44. Old worries are down payments on problems you may never have.  Let them go.  Today is a NEW beginning; take a deep breath and START AGAIN.
  45. Smile, even when it feels like things are falling apart.  Smiling doesn’t always mean you’re happy; sometimes it simply means you’re strong.
  46. There comes a time when you have to stop thinking about your mistakes and move on.  No regrets in life – just lessons that show you the way.
  47. Remember the good times, be strong during tough times, love always, laugh often, live honestly, and be thankful for each new day.
  48. You can’t let one bad moment spoil a bunch of good ones.  Don’t let the silly little dramas of each day get you down.
  49. If you are diligent and patient, everything you truly need in your life will come to you at the right time.
  50. Everything will fall into place eventually.  Until then, learn what you can, laugh often, live for the moments, and know it’s all worthwhile.

Your turn…

What’s your favorite quote or personal saying that has helped you let go and live well?  Please share it with us by leaving a reply below.

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